The picture of an ideal marriage that emerges from The Canterbury Tales is one based on mutual love and respect between husband and wife. My students are initially inclined to think that view the most progressive. After all, it was heralded by the Franklin, who stands out as a “modern” man. Likewise, it seems to correspond with contemporary views of equality between men and women.

But, a careful reading of Biblical marriage stories reveals this view to be ageless. Of course that does not mean it has always been practiced, but that is a different matter.

Adam and Eve

Our first Bible story about marriage comes from Adam and Eve. In Genesis 2:18-25, we learn that a husband and wife become “one flesh” when they get married, meaning they are united in a common purpose, and that purpose is to know, love, and obey God.

Herein lies a central point, God is the third Person in a marriage. This might make more sense if we conceptualize marriage as a triangle with God on the top and the husband and wife on the protruding angles. As the husband and wife grow closer to God, so too do they grow closer to one another. Likewise, the husband and wife are bound to one another as they are bound to God. If a husband must obey God, then he also must obey his wife. If a wife must obey God, then she must also obey her husband.

Adam and Eve, like so many of us, struggle on this front. As soon as they disobey God and eat of the forbidden fruit, they experience separation not only from God but from one another. Sure, their marriage union continues, but it is no longer perfect. In a sense, we have them to thank for the Wife of Bath’s tale and the Clerk’s tale, which depict such unequal marriage partnerships.

Mary and Joseph

Thank goodness for Mary and Joseph! They renew the meaning of marriage and reveal what it and, by extension, a model family should look like. In a word, it is all about obedience. Mary shows complete obedience to God’s will by accepting Christ as her Son. Likewise, Joseph shows complete obedience to God’s will by accepting Christ as his foster-son.

In their unique family, we can picture God Incarnate, who is Christ, at the top of the triangle with Mary and Joseph on either side. Here, husband and wife grow closer to Him and to one another in perfect harmony. Yet amazingly, Christ humbles Himself and shows obedience to his mother and foster-father. Certainly, if a child ever lived who did not need to obey his parents, it would be Jesus. After all, He is omnipotent and omniscient and thus not bound to obey anyone. Nevertheless, Christ made Himself a model of obedience to show us how to behave. This is one of the key take-aways for my students.

Thanks to the pure union of Mary and Joseph, we also have a model family with Christ as its Master and Servant. Thus, we learn that God wants marriages and family life to be based on serving one another, which comes from obedience first and foremost to God. Only in that way can any family member exercise authority.

Wedding at Cana

The Wedding at Cana (John 2:1-12) is perhaps the most famous wedding in the world. Its storyline is well known. Mary and Jesus attend a wedding together. Mary notices the wine is running low and does not want the host to suffer embarrassment. She asks Jesus to do something.

He hesitates, not because He is unsure of His power or contemplating disobeying his Mother. Rather, He wants to make sure Mary knows that she is asking Him to begin His public ministry which will result in His crucifixion. Mary knows, and out of love for all Humanity consents once again to the suffering tied to being the Mother of God. Jesus then turns water into wine and thereby performs His first miracle.

Hence we see Mary and Jesus serving the wedding party and its guests, even at great cost to themselves. Why do they do this? Of course it is out of love, but it is also out of obedience to God’s will. God asks them to take up the Cross, and they willingly obey.

Comparative Views

So while the “Marriage Set” focuses on the idea of who should rule, the Bible stories emphasize who should obey. In many regards, these ideas are two sides of the same coin, which we will look at more closely in the next post. For now, the quick answer is that husband and wife should rule together in obedience to one another. Maybe that sounds modern; maybe that sounds archaic. By the end of our study, the class generally agrees it sounds eternal.