If the word obedience conjures images of a slave-driving taskmaster or a yardstick-wielding nun, you’re in good company. That’s what most of us picture. My students, who still have their child-like respect for age and authority, immediately see obedience as a sign of servitude in an unequal relationship. So used are they to taking orders, it takes some time to unpack what obedience is really all about and how Chaucer wants us to understand it in his “Marriage Set.”

We begin by looking at a definition offered by the Venerable Fulton Sheen in his book, The World’s First Love (Ignatius Press, 2010).

Obedience does not mean the execution of orders by a drill sergeant. It springs, rather, from the love of an order, and love of Him who gave it. The merit of obedience is less in the act than in the love; the submission, the devotion, and the service that obedience implies are not born of servitude but are rather effects that spring from and are unified by love. Obedience is servility only to those who have not understood the spontaneity of love” (103).

My class spends about half a period annotating the passage and practicing copia with it. Once we’ve gained a basic understanding of what Sheen is saying, then we test his definition first against the Bible stories described in the last post and then against Chaucer’s “Marriage Set.”

We do this as a discourse, which is another word for Socratic discussion. Though I write out scripted questions for each story, we often stray from them considerably. Our only real rule is that we have to talk about the stories themselves and not personal anecdotes or hypothetical scenarios. Otherwise, we would jump all over the place and not really accomplish much. I use the following script as a starting point.

Bible Story Discourse Questions

Adam and Eve—Breakdown of Obedience

Were Adam and Eve slaves to God? If not slaves, then what were they? How does free will factor into their relationship with Him? What definition of obedience did the Devil trick them into believing? How does this definition lead them (and us) astray?

Mary and Joseph—Restoration of Obedience

How about Mary and Joseph? Did God “order” them to mother and father His Son? Or did He will it, and were they freely in agreement? Do you think Joseph and Mary “bossed” Jesus around? How else might they have wielded their authority over Him? What do you think their family life looked like?

The Wedding at Cana—Fulfillment of Obedience

Do you think Mary loved having her Son perform His first miracle at the Wedding at Cana? What must have been hard for her? What must have made her will it so? How is this connected to Sheen’s definition of obedience?

“Marriage Set” Discourse Questions

The Wife of Bath’s Tale—Distortion of Obedience

What kind of relationship do her characters, the Knight and the Old Hag, demonstrate throughout the story? Is it one based on love? Is it based on something else—like what? Should the Knight have “obeyed” the Old Hag? What is his “obedience” based on? What definition of obedience emerges from the story? How is it similar to and different than Sheen’s?

The Clerk’s Tale—Distortion of Obedience

What kind of relationship do his characters, the Marquis and Griselda, demonstrate throughout the story? Is it one based on love? Is it based on something else—like what? Should Griselda have “obeyed” the Marquis? What is her “obedience” based on? What definition of obedience emerges from the story? How is it similar to and different than Sheen’s?

The Franklin’s Tale—Restoration of Obedience

What kind of relationship do his characters, Dorigen, Aurelius, and Arviragus, demonstrate throughout the story? Is it one based on love? Is it based on something else—like what? What constitutes a real promise? Should all promises be “obeyed” equally? What definition of obedience emerges from the story? How is it similar to and different than Sheen’s?

Conclusion

By the end of our discourse, the students have a very different understanding of obedience than what they started with. They generally believe Sheen’s definition is correct—true obedience is born of love for God and His will.

Children are called to obey their parents because their parents are called to obey God. Likewise, husbands and wives are called to obey one another because they are each called to obey God. As long as each individual is following God’s will, they will have a spiritual equality, even if their earthly status is disparate and their respective roles are different.

Thus, the challenge is to accept God’s will with love, just as Mary did. That is hard when it seems to conflict with what we want. For that reason, children and parents, husbands and wives mess up from time to time and fall into disharmony. But that does not mean we should become the caricatures of the Wife of Bath or the Clerk. We are called to something higher, something more akin to the Franklin but higher still. We are called to be part of the Holy Family.

And that’s the hidden wisdom of Chaucer’s “Marriage Set.” While his jokes and needling seem anything but theological, they are actually grounded in beautiful Church teachings.