If the word obedience conjures images of a slave-driving taskmaster or a yardstick-wielding nun, you’re in good company. That’s what most of us picture. My students, who still have their child-like respect for age and authority, immediately see obedience as a sign of servitude in an unequal relationship. So used are they to taking orders, it takes some time to unpack what obedience is really all about and how Chaucer wants us to understand it in his “Marriage Set.”
We begin by looking at a definition offered by the Venerable Fulton Sheen in his book, The World’s First Love (Ignatius Press, 2010).
Venerable Fulton Sheen
Obedience does not mean the execution of orders by a drill sergeant. It springs, rather, from the love of an order, and love of Him who gave it. The merit of obedience is less in the act than in the love; the submission, the devotion, and the service that obedience implies are not born of servitude but are rather effects that spring from and are unified by love. Obedience is servility only to those who have not understood the spontaneity of love” (103).
My class spends about half a period annotating the passage and practicing copia with it. Once we’ve gained a basic understanding of what Sheen is saying, then we test his definition first against the Bible stories described in the last post and then against Chaucer’s “Marriage Set.”
We do this as a discourse, which is another word for Socratic discussion. Though I write out scripted questions for each story, we often stray from them considerably. Our only real rule is that we have to talk about the stories themselves and not personal anecdotes or hypothetical scenarios. Otherwise, we would jump all over the place and not really accomplish much. I use the following script as a starting point.
Bible Story Discourse Questions
Adam and Eve—Breakdown of Obedience
Were Adam and Eve slaves to God? If not slaves, then what were they? How does free will factor into their relationship with Him? What definition of obedience did the Devil trick them into believing? How does this definition lead them (and us) astray?
Mary and Joseph—Restoration of Obedience
How about Mary and Joseph? Did God “order” them to mother and father His Son? Or did He will it, and were they freely in agreement? Do you think Joseph and Mary “bossed” Jesus around? How else might they have wielded their authority over Him? What do you think their family life looked like?
The Wedding at Cana—Fulfillment of Obedience
Do you think Mary loved having her Son perform His first miracle at the Wedding at Cana? What must have been hard for her? What must have made her will it so? How is this connected to Sheen’s definition of obedience?
“Marriage Set” Discourse Questions
The Wife of Bath’s Tale—Distortion of Obedience
What kind of relationship do her characters, the Knight and the Old Hag, demonstrate throughout the story? Is it one based on love? Is it based on something else—like what? Should the Knight have “obeyed” the Old Hag? What is his “obedience” based on? What definition of obedience emerges from the story? How is it similar to and different than Sheen’s?
The Clerk’s Tale—Distortion of Obedience
What kind of relationship do his characters, the Marquis and Griselda, demonstrate throughout the story? Is it one based on love? Is it based on something else—like what? Should Griselda have “obeyed” the Marquis? What is her “obedience” based on? What definition of obedience emerges from the story? How is it similar to and different than Sheen’s?
The Franklin’s Tale—Restoration of Obedience
What kind of relationship do his characters, Dorigen, Aurelius, and Arviragus, demonstrate throughout the story? Is it one based on love? Is it based on something else—like what? What constitutes a real promise? Should all promises be “obeyed” equally? What definition of obedience emerges from the story? How is it similar to and different than Sheen’s?
Conclusion
By the end of our discourse, the students have a very different understanding of obedience than what they started with. They generally believe Sheen’s definition is correct—true obedience is born of love for God and His will.
Children are called to obey their parents because their parents are called to obey God. Likewise, husbands and wives are called to obey one another because they are each called to obey God. As long as each individual is following God’s will, they will have a spiritual equality, even if their earthly status is disparate and their respective roles are different.
Thus, the challenge is to accept God’s will with love, just as Mary did. That is hard when it seems to conflict with what we want. For that reason, children and parents, husbands and wives mess up from time to time and fall into disharmony. But that does not mean we should become the caricatures of the Wife of Bath or the Clerk. We are called to something higher, something more akin to the Franklin but higher still. We are called to be part of the Holy Family.
And that’s the hidden wisdom of Chaucer’s “Marriage Set.” While his jokes and needling seem anything but theological, they are actually grounded in beautiful Church teachings.
The picture of an ideal marriage that emerges from The Canterbury Tales is one based on mutual love and respect between husband and wife. My students are initially inclined to think that view the most progressive. After all, it was heralded by the Franklin, who stands out as a “modern” man. Likewise, it seems to correspond with contemporary views of equality between men and women.
But, a careful reading of Biblical marriage stories reveals this view to be ageless. Of course that does not mean it has always been practiced, but that is a different matter.
Adam and Eve
Our first Bible story about marriage comes from Adam and Eve. In Genesis 2:18-25, we learn that a husband and wife become “one flesh” when they get married, meaning they are united in a common purpose, and that purpose is to know, love, and obey God.
Herein lies a central point, God is the third Person in a marriage. This might make more sense if we conceptualize marriage as a triangle with God on the top and the husband and wife on the protruding angles. As the husband and wife grow closer to God, so too do they grow closer to one another. Likewise, the husband and wife are bound to one another as they are bound to God. If a husband must obey God, then he also must obey his wife. If a wife must obey God, then she must also obey her husband.
Adam and Eve, like so many of us, struggle on this front. As soon as they disobey God and eat of the forbidden fruit, they experience separation not only from God but from one another. Sure, their marriage union continues, but it is no longer perfect. In a sense, we have them to thank for the Wife of Bath’s tale and the Clerk’s tale, which depict such unequal marriage partnerships.
Mary and Joseph
Thank goodness for Mary and Joseph! They renew the meaning of marriage and reveal what it and, by extension, a model family should look like. In a word, it is all about obedience. Mary shows complete obedience to God’s will by accepting Christ as her Son. Likewise, Joseph shows complete obedience to God’s will by accepting Christ as his foster-son.
In their unique family, we can picture God Incarnate, who is Christ, at the top of the triangle with Mary and Joseph on either side. Here, husband and wife grow closer to Him and to one another in perfect harmony. Yet amazingly, Christ humbles Himself and shows obedience to his mother and foster-father. Certainly, if a child ever lived who did not need to obey his parents, it would be Jesus. After all, He is omnipotent and omniscient and thus not bound to obey anyone. Nevertheless, Christ made Himself a model of obedience to show us how to behave. This is one of the key take-aways for my students.
Thanks to the pure union of Mary and Joseph, we also have a model family with Christ as its Master and Servant. Thus, we learn that God wants marriages and family life to be based on serving one another, which comes from obedience first and foremost to God. Only in that way can any family member exercise authority.
Wedding at Cana
The Wedding at Cana (John 2:1-12) is perhaps the most famous wedding in the world. Its storyline is well known. Mary and Jesus attend a wedding together. Mary notices the wine is running low and does not want the host to suffer embarrassment. She asks Jesus to do something.
He hesitates, not because He is unsure of His power or contemplating disobeying his Mother. Rather, He wants to make sure Mary knows that she is asking Him to begin His public ministry which will result in His crucifixion. Mary knows, and out of love for all Humanity consents once again to the suffering tied to being the Mother of God. Jesus then turns water into wine and thereby performs His first miracle.
Hence we see Mary and Jesus serving the wedding party and its guests, even at great cost to themselves. Why do they do this? Of course it is out of love, but it is also out of obedience to God’s will. God asks them to take up the Cross, and they willingly obey.
Comparative Views
So while the “Marriage Set” focuses on the idea of who should rule, the Bible stories emphasize who should obey. In many regards, these ideas are two sides of the same coin, which we will look at more closely in the next post. For now, the quick answer is that husband and wife should rule together in obedience to one another. Maybe that sounds modern; maybe that sounds archaic. By the end of our study, the class generally agrees it sounds eternal.
